I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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