its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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