i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have aggressive nipples.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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