Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just blew my weed a kiss
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
