Pants 0. Shit 1.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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