I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
