Im at strip club and am horny
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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