They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize