How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
