Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
