How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
