I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Randomize