Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
