Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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