Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
