and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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