somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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