ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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