How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
