dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
