Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
