The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm getting married
To pizza
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
