so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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