even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
