Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize