Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize