i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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