yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
