Don't you send me to vm
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
