I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
