just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
