I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
