Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
