you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
