Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
