And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
