i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
