Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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