Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize