My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize