Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
