AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I need a beard to bite.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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