Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
