At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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