Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
