I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
