i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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