he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
