Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
