Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
