I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
