You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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