apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
