I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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