Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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