careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
