On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
